


Buried Feelings

by osuwari_san



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, POV Iwaizumi Hajime, Pro Volleyball Player Oikawa Tooru, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:41:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23767879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/osuwari_san/pseuds/osuwari_san
Summary: As Iwaizumi watches Oikawa play in the TV as an Olympian player, he couldn't help but think about the what-ifs that would have happen if he confessed his feelings.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 22





	Buried Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> You can listen to this playlist while reading the fic: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4B9D1ygaefyY1dMM0BjWnc?si=trvPhudBShy56nVyuGesdg

I will never forget the moment I realized I am in love with Oikawa.

That was the night that we drank together in his apartment for the nth time. It was our usual Friday night arrangement despite attending different colleges.

Though, we were always busy with academic requirements, I am surprised how we manage to even meet up every Friday night. Sometimes, we just sat there, doing our course requirements. Sometimes, we watched sports on the television with a bottle of beer cradled in our hands while talking about our games back in high school.

But of course, there are times that we can’t meet up every Friday night. I understand that though but every time we can’t meet, Oikawa always calls me in the middle of the night, just before I sleep. I remember always being annoyed by his antic yet, I can’t help but still answer his late night calls every time we can’t meet.

 _Until that night arrived._ The last Friday night that we would spend time with each other.

I remembered him being so happy that night. Very joyous. In fact, he kept teasing me every single time. Indeed, he’s a weird kind of jerk.

But the moment he mentioned that he’s going to Brazil for a volleyball offer. I don’t know what I should feel.

I know I should be happy because going pro is his life-long dream (aside from beating Shiratorizawa, that is). But, just imagining him going away across the globe shattered my heart to pieces. We have always been attached by the hip since childhood and that’s one of the probable reasons why it breaks my heart. But I just can’t imagine him not in my side.

I remembered after our last match in high school, that one where we terribly lost to Karasuno, that we swore that we’d always be together. That’s what led to us meeting every Friday night. Even back when I was in high school, I already have swirling feelings inside of me. They are strong and those feelings always lure me into his presence. Back then, I don’t know what they are called.

I just know that I always want to be by his side no matter what.

_Damn, is this what they call love? Or is this just attachment?_

“Aww, are you gonna miss me so much, Iwa-chan?” he teased me upon noticing my quietness, his eyebrows wriggling in mischief. Yet, despite the feelings I realized I had, I only glared at him and said, “Hell no, Trashykawa. Stop dreaming so much.”

In which he replied, “So mean, Iwa-chan.”

_Yet, the truth is that I’d miss him so much that my heart feels like it’s going to explode anytime._

“Well, you better take care of yourself, then,” I uttered, covering up the threatening explosion of feelings inside me.

Then, after that night, Oikawa remained busy. Well, I figured it’s because there’s a lot of paper works regarding his transfer to Brazil. We didn’t even call each other that much, only minimal texts of hello’s and updates about his flight. He said that their flight would be around 12 pm on Friday.

_Well, that’s so coincidental._

So, when the day arrived, I decided to call him at least to say goodbye since I can’t go with him on the airport. It was a school night after all.

“Hello, Iwa-chan. Calling to say your last farewell?”

I smirked a little. “Why not? This is gonna be the last time, isn’t it? After this you’re out of my life.”

I could hear him whine on the other line, “You’re really mean, Iwa-chan. Just admit that you’re gonna miss me.”

I scoffed and sighed. Tears threatening to come out of my eyes. “What if I am?”

_Wait, what the hell’s coming out of my mouth?_

Then, silence filled the other line.

“Oikawa?”

“D-do you really mean that?”

I sighed, thinking that it would probably be our last conversation, so I decided to take a lift.

“Yeah, Crappykawa. I’ll miss you so much.”

I heard sniffing on the other line. “Hey, are you crying?”

“Yeah, probably because you’re so nice to me. Do I really have to leave just for you to be nice to me?” he whined.

I laughed. “Well, I guess you do. Goodluck out there, Tooru. Kick their assess for me.”

“Do you really think that low about me?” he complained and in a softer voice he uttered, “Of course, I would. I always would.”

Then, he said that it’s time for him to board the plane and the conversation ended. I didn’t even get to say that I love him.

Now, it has been 10 years ever since we separated. Well, we talked a little bit in the first five months, but distance made us drift away. We don’t have conversations anymore but every time I watched television when I get home from work, sometimes I could see him.

Happy, victorious and…beautiful. _Still beautiful._

Now, we’re not just separated miles away, but we’re also separated by the screen of this television. I felt happy for him for achieving his dream.

Yet, my heart can’t stop hurting.

Maybe if I said I love you to him on the night of his flight. Or maybe in those times that we talked in those first five months, maybe he would’ve reciprocated, and we’d have a long-distance relationship. Or he would’ve rejected me, and I would move on in peace miles away.

I laughed aloud. _It’s too late now, Hajime._

But, even so, I’d still love him, even if we’re miles away. Even if he’s now the Olympian Tooru and me, an ordinary Hajime. I would never forget the memories we had from childhood until college, especially the moment I realized how much I love him.

As the commentator in the television called out his name as he entered the volleyball arena, another realization dawned on me. A teardrop fell from my eyes.

I could never toss away the love I buried inside of me.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! IwaOi is one of my otps and it's my first time writing about them. I hope you enjoy reading it. If you have suggestions or comments, you can comment it on the comment box. I was planning to create another fic on Oikawa's side but I'll think about it first. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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